For as long as I can remember I have suffered from depression and despair. But at the earlier part of my life depression was not yet recognized for what it is now considered to be: a disease all its own, much like diabetes and other debilitating illnesses.

I have seen counselors and I take medication to help the worst of the sadness and heartsick pain. But, alas, it all only helps the symptoms leaving any cure as elusive as the fabled unicorn.

I had come to believe that there would never be an escape from this dreadful disease. Oh yes, there is, of course, the permanent cure that some have taken. But that was not a path I wanted to tread.

When I finally reached a point where the above mentioned path was beckoning almost beyond my ability to fight it, I was recommended to a psychologist I had not seen before.

With his coaching and a form of counseling I had not experienced before, we slowly began to make some progress. After each visit I would have thoughts of my childhood and of experiences I had long since forgotten.

Then today, February 17, I had a memory surface from deep in my mind. It surfaced when he had asked me a simple question. And suddenly, this memory opened like a door that had been locked and now the lock was broken. The door swung open and memory after painful memory just poured out of my mind. I blurted it all out to him as the memories came to me.

At last, after all these many years, I now know why and how my depression and despair took root. And more than that, I also know who was the one who planted those roots.

I can now begin to heal. It will still take a lot of counseling and some time, along with a little help from my medication, and a lot of help from God to muster the forgiveness that will need to come. But I know in my heart that I will heal at last.

So, in closing, as it was said in another story in this blog, NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER QUIT! You, my friend, are worth fighting for.

Thank you all for letting me tell my story. May God bless you all.